so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
