i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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