Christians are straight up FREAKS
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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