You're a womanizer and a bitch.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
