just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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