Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
did you just send me my own nude
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
