Soap is not a condiment
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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