My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think i have two assholes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
