worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
