yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
