I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
