I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
