the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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