I'm going to rape someone's good day.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
