Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
