Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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