why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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