you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
