We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
