This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
