i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
