How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
