This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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