hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
