Whod you bang
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My sheets look like a crime scene.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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