the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
