My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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