I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
