Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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