That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
