sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
