We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
