Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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