i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
