Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
