your thong is hanging out like whoa
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
