Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
