people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
