he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
