u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This girl is more easily done than said...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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