Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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