mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
