I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
how does that bad decision feel?
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