i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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