her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
