I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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