sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
