if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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