there was a trapeze. enough said
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
