I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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