grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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