i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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