Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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